This one’s short and simple, but if applied it will reward you with decades of happiness.
You should not stick around with Decent Friends (DFs) you don’t feel strongly about. Here's an easy test: If they disappeared off the face of the Earth tomorrow, would you cry and mourn for them? If not, they are DFs and you should say bye bye. Never settle.
DFs can make you feel less lonely and entertain you but those benefits are short-term, and come with a dangerous long-term consequence It's your opportunity cost, the potential beneficial alternatives you're missing out on when you make a choice. In this case, you are investing the energy, the time, and the money into DFs but it's just not generating a great return.
Importantly, you are sacrificing spending time finding an amazing friend, even a BFF, for the time you are spending with your DFs. They're the kind of person you:
- Would rather have than 10 DFs
- Could be stuck with in a log cabin for a week with no internet and easily imagine having a lot of fun
- Yearn to spend time with, often wishing you could hang out with them for at least 12 consecutive hours
- So deeply care about that you try to help out with their long-term future
- Intensively defend when somebody doesn't treat them right
If you already have this kind of person, congratulations! Count your lucky stars and never let them go. If not, fret not. One thing you should do before parting ways with your DFs is asking for introductions to their friends, as your future BFF just might be a friend of a friend.
I was lucky enough to find my best friend after a very long time of not having anyone I could deeply connect with. All those movies, books and songs about having a strong emotional connection with someone finally became relatable for me.
Instead of sticking with the same hangout group just because that’s all you have, continually meet new people and keep searching. When you find that one person, you’ll gain so much happiness it’ll transform your life.
